38 Gameweeks – I Want to Beat my Son in English Premier League Fantasy Football

December 15, 2009

Well. Well. Well. Cheeky stopped breathing at one point today when she learned that Rooney, Drogba, Fabregas and Dunn were possible non-starters. What to do! However, Cheeky conferred with fellow fantasy players, then took a deep breath and benched Dunn, changed her captain from Drogba to Rooney, got rid of Hunt and transferred in Bowyer and prayed to the soccer gods that all would be well.

And it is … so far. 55 provisional points — still in first place. However, Cheeky’s rivals have more players who will play tomorrow.

Cheeky’s team:

Hart (Sorensen)

Evra RJohnson Dunne (Bramble, Shawcross)

Fabregas Milner Bowyer Reid (Dunn)

Rooney(c) Drogba Bent

December 14, 2009

Cheeky does not hide her light under a bushel normally. However, being in first place in her league by ONE point does not give Cheeky strutting and crowing rights … yet. But, Cheeky did have an extra piece of chocolate today when she viewed the final results.

But now the pressure mounts. Cheeky cannot put a wrong foot forward. First must be conclusively won!

So, what to do for this gameweek? Make no transfers? Interesting. That would give Cheeky TWO free transfers in Gameweek 18. Or, maybe dump Hunt and buy …. gotta be a cheap midfielder. Cheeky has put on her thinking cap and does she look cute.

The deadline is looming … what a short turnaround time. Cheeky feels the pressure. Stay tuned!

December 12, 2009 p.m.

Cheeky, Cheeky, Cheeky. Who woulda thunk? In first place …. for the time being. One more game tomorrow. Cheeky has crossed her fingers AND toes — makes life a bit difficult — hoping against hope.

Cheeky would be shouting to the roof tops, but Man United lost today. D*mn! Just when we had top place in sight after the Chelsea loss.

So Cheeky is happy – sad.

December 12, 2990 a.m.

Cheeky feels very apprehensive this morning. Is she worried about the impending breakdown of the Liberal Party of Canada? Get real. It’s Saturday morning. Cheeky is having second and third thoughts about not taking a four point hit to bring Giggs in for this game. With 2.5 injured players (Shawcross was still iffy last night), Cheeky erred on the conservative side and only sold Distin and brought in Roger Johnson — Birmingham has a good fixture today. And then she dithered, and dithered, and dithered some more on a Milner to Giggs transfer until Cheeky fell asleep at her computer. Poor Cheeky.

So, the team. For better, and I hope not worse:

Hart

Evra RJohnson Shawcross (Bramble, Dunne)

Fabregas Milner Hunt Reid (Dunn)

Rooney Drogba(c) Bent

May the soccer/football gods be kind.

December 9, 2009

Cheeky still holding her breath — who of her injured players will be fit for the weekend? Can’t make big decisions until that’s known. Long-term decision is beginning to brew: sell Drogba for whom during the Africa Cup? Defoe is the obvious one.

December 8, 2009

Rooney, hamstring, arrrrgggggghhhhhhhh! Heal, oh great one, heal.

Cheeky’s four injured players are no where near the 13 injured on Man United, but she can only make 1 transfer without penalty. Sir Alex can call up all the reserves he needs. Cheeky is muttering words like “fantasy”, “life”, “unfair” under her breath. Give her some time to rebound …. or at least self-medicate with chocolate.

December 7, 2009

Never fear, Cheeky’s here … just a tad late with her GW 15 results. Were you worried, fearing that Cheeky had fallen into the slough of despond because she’d had a bad gameweek? Well, ye of little faith. 62 points, ladies and gents. Still in second place and moving up: 24 points from first place and second place 90 points behind. The pressure is on!

Son of Cheeky Backheel is suffering from inattentiveness, probably incurable at this point: only 48 points earned this gameweek and in 10th place … still.

November 27, 2009

Ah, the Friday dither. Cheeky has been playing scenarios on and off today, but still hasn’t decided who to crown captain, who to bench and who to transfer. Example: Rooney for captain or is he baby fatigued? Distin for the chop? Shawcross for the bench? Questions, questions galore. But where are the easy answers?

The answer is no. However, after many twists and turns and consultations with my inner and outer soccer/football muse, I only made one transfer: non-playing Foster for Hart. Here’s hoping Birmingham and Stoke perform. And thus, here’s my team for the gameweek:

Hart (Sorensen)

Evra Dunne Shawcross (Distin, Bramble)

Fabregas Dunn Hunt Milner (Diaby)

Rooney(c) Drogba Bent

Let ‘er rip!

November 26, 2009

Cheeky, oh, Cheeky, you fantasy queen. 81 points this week, which puts Cheeky 69 points ahead of her nearest rival. Cheeky breathes a sigh of relief … which lasts as long as the thought: Darren Bent is injured! Suddenly her solid second place looks endangered, but then Cheeky has always been a worrier. Little known fact: when Cheeky was 12, she was at a fair. You could buy little jokey permit certificates from one booth that “allowed” the buyer to do x, y or z. Which one did Cheeky buy? You got it: the permit to worry.

Is she worried now about Son of Cheeky Backheel? Yes and no. SCB hasn’t been doing his job and she worries about his commitment. But then SCB also hasn’t congratulated his mom on her fantasy acumen. So, did Cheeky feel pangs of sympathy when she saw that SCB only collected 67 points AND dropped to 10th place? Nope.

November 22, 2009

Ok, who’s going to be the first to step up and say, “Well done, Cheeky, well done.” Don’t be shy. After all, Cheeky has 65 points so far. Whooohooo! And hopefully, there will be more points just flocking onto Cheeky’s total after Wednesday’s games. She has three players participating.

So far, a great weekend with Man United winning … how sweet it is. Of course, if Chelsea had lost, it would have been even sweeter.

Cheeky’s midfield performed quite well. Rooney was a fantasy disappointment and Fabregas was contained, but Cheeky will probably keep them for a while longer. The fantasy managers who had Defoe really raked in the points, not that Cheeky is jealous or anything. The next three guys below Cheeky in her min-league did select him, but Cheeky is still 70 ahead of the third place fellow. Thank you midfield!

Oh, I almost forgot — Son of Cheeky Backheel. Well, he is playing better, earned 47 points so far, but has dropped into 10th place. And he’s about 100 points below me. Son, son.

November 20, 2009

Well, injuries by the score, which has certainly given Cheeky Backheel a headache … which is matching the ache in her arm from her H1N1 vaccination given last night.

Van Persie is out for the count, so sold him for Rooney. Isn’t Rooney due a goal or two? Please? Diaby is also injured, but Cheeky didn’t want to risk losing 4 points selling him and bringing in a mediocre midfielder — she just doesn’t have enough money …. and so many good midfielders are injured. Just isn’t worth it. So Cheeky juggled the team formation this way and that. Finally ended up with this configuration:

Sorensen (Foster)

Evra Shawcross Dunne Distin (Bramble)

Fabregas(c)  Dunn Hunt Milner (Diaby)

Bent  Rooney (Drogba)

The only consolation: won’t have to cheer on Drogba to score this week. That really makes Cheeky grind her teeth.

November 18, 2009

Please, please don’t let Evra be injured in today’s game with Ireland!

Thierry Henri! Good god. I always thought he was better than that.

November 17, 2009

Cheeky is calmer now about her team, but sadder about real life. She was allied with the forces of good, but they were defeated by city council yesterday. Enough said, Cheeky is licking her wounds.

And her team? Usually contemplating the players and formation for the weekend games gives Cheeky solace from the cares of the world. However, with all the injuries, she’s had to self-medicate a lot over the past few days. Her chocolate supply is dwindling and her spirits are low.

November 14, 2009

HOLY SH*T! Pardon Cheeky’s primal scream. Van Persie out for 2-3 months, Drogba out with a broken rib. Who to replace them? Rooney is the only “big” player who might harvest points. But who else to buy? Buy midfielders now? Lampard injured., Gerrard not firing on all cylinders. Cheeky is reeling. Her strategy is in disarray!

November 10, 2009

Cheeky has recovered from her gloom, sort of. Maybe it was the liberal doses of chocolate she self-medicated with. Maybe it is her still abiding hope that Manchester United will prevail by the end of the season. Cheeky is ready to strut and preen.

Oh, Cheeky, you cheeky thing. It’s final – 57 points — higher than anyone else in my mini-league for Gameweek 12. And Son of Cheeky Backheel is doing much better…49 points and a rise to ninth place. Well done, son, but not as well done as your mother. I know, hitting below the belt, sorry. Cheeky is in a combative mood. She’s been busy writing a presentation to City Council to protest handing over a landmark site to a group of developers. What is their wonderful plan? Gee whiz. A condo-shopping mall complex. Just takes your breath away.

Oops, Cheeky has done it again. Strayed away from the subject at hand … football! Ok, where did Cheeky go wrong last week? The main error was benching Milner, who in the end earned 11 points. Cheeky really has to remember to field “doubts” (who are potential big point earners) because if they don’t play, a player on the bench will be substituted, and hopefully, earn some points.

So, with the international break coming up, Cheeky has lots of time to study the strengths and weaknesses of her team. Gameweek 13 will be a double gameweek for a few teams. Cheeky has to plan how to play into that potential double point earning situation. Stay tuned.

November 8, 2009

Cheeky’s points are now standing at 57 — leading all members of her mini-league. She would preen, but she’s still gloomy over Man United’s loss to Chelsea. No more c’est la vie for Cheeky today. Chocolate needed NOW.

November 7, 2009

44 points … and counting. A sunny, sunny day marred only by the cloud of not starting Milner. C’est la vie.

November 6, 2009

Cheeky is sleepy. She’s left her team choice to the last minute. It’s the defence that’s causing her grief. Who to bench. Stand up, sit down — Cheeky keeps changing her mind. Evra sit on the bench! Ah, maybe not. Ok. Distin, take his place. Other decisions were made quite quickly and easily. Fabregas as captain. Sold Elliott for Dunn who has been performing quite well and Blackburn plays Portsmouth. No 4 point hit this week. Meek and mild and conservative. It’s just this pesky back line.

Evra has a bad fixture, and Bramble and Distin have easier ones, but their points and bonus points are dismal. I know I had my reasons for buying them, which are now escaping me in my stupor. Ok, Evra is off the bench and onto the team. Go Ottawa Bonfire FC!

My team this week is …. drumroll….

Sorensen (Foster)

Evra Shawcross Dunne

Fabregas(c) Diaby Dunn Hunt (Milner)

Bent Drogba Van Persie

And to all a good night!

November 5, 2009

I’m sorry to say that Cheeky Backheel is becoming a bit blase about reporting her scores. Another 76 points, well, well. Solidly in second place in the mini-league, a comfortable 49 points above third place. However, Cheeky is not so blase about still being 42 points off first place. She can dream. Her competitive urge is still fired up by the thought of somehow, some way of overcoming this large point spread. How will she do this? Well, probably by not following the logic of last week’s transfers. Ok, let’s reword that. The logic was sound: bring in two players from Aston Villa, which had a double gameweek, to offset the 4 point hit taken to bring them. Cheeky believed that Milner and Dunn — the two players — could in future bring in some nice points. What screwed up this sound logic was that always hovering flying fickle finger of fate that saw Milner pick up an injury that took him off the pitch at 45 minutes, out of the second game and is keeping him out of play. Cheeky grinds her teeth as she listens to the laughter of the soccer/football gods.

And Son of Cheeky Backheel? His wildcard transfers are again paying off: 67 points this week! Well done, SCB! But, a gentle reminder, you are still in 10th place and your mother continues to triumph over you. Should I send you some chocolate?

Speaking of chocolate, which Cheeky probably does a little too often, she wants to thank Cheeky Backheel Watcher for sending along, by special messenger, some gourmet dark chocolate he’d offered earlier, probably as a peace offering for questioning Cheeky’s loyalty to Man United. Really!

October 3, 2009

Cheeky Backheel is thinking once again about fantasy league ambivalence. I support Man United. So, I’m torn — do I want Chelsea to lose tomorrow? D*mn right!. But then that would mean Liverpool players would probably have scored, which will give a big advantage to my mini-league rivals. See, ambivalence!

Which is just to say that Cheeky was horrified to find herself giving a big yahoo when Bent scored against Man United today. In her defense that was followed immediately by an anguished oh noooooooooo! I know, I know, not a true supporter. Don’t worry, Cheeky is doing penance for that: no chocolate for 24 hours.

October 2, 2009

It’s late and Cheeky Backheel is tired. All that heavy lifting. Cheeky just can’t stop flipping players off the bench, then back on the bench. Who will get a clean sheet — certainly not on the cards for the Liverpool v Chelsea game.

Cheeky got rid of Lampard, but shied away from taking a 4 point hit. Courage, Cheeky! But until Cheeky works up a good lead over her rivals, she will probably continue to play conservatively.

My team this week (at least as of 11 pm Friday night):

Foster

Evra GJohnson Bramble Distin

Fabregas (c) Hunt Diaby

Rooney Defoe Bent

Bench: Sorensen Shawcross Jimenez Pienaar

October 1, 2009

Cheeky silence? Don’t worry it’s the sound of Cheeky thinking, thinking, about who’s going to be bought and sold this gameweek.

September 29, 2009

Sigh. Cheeky Backheel has crawled out of the wreckage of Gameweek 7. You will be glad to know she’s hung on to third place … barely. She is staggering, but, have no fear,  she will climb again. She needs inspiration. Who to trade out, who to trade in. The same old, same old.

And Son of Cheeky Backheel, you ask. Poor boy. Just can’t top his mum — a mere 28 points and a drop to 11th place. 53 points for CB — read it and weep, son.

Interesting to see that this year forwards are making huge fantasy points. Last year, a strong midfield was almost guaranteed to gain you mega points. Now, a hat trick is in danger of becoming predictable from the front line. If you don’t have three strong forwards, well…